A Common Life

For many years, I have loved this poem by Emily Dickinson:

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain

I think this aptly applies to those of us who take on the role of caregiving.This has been a comfort to me, when I have felt that life was passing me by and when I become frustrated, tired and angry. What I am doing has value.

And I recently came across another quote which really hit home:

“I am a common man with common thoughts and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten. But I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough”. --Nicholas Sparks, from his novel: 'The Notebook'

Isn’t it enough to have loved and to have eased one pain? Sisters!

Mom and Me

I love this picture of Mom and me.

The last six months have been a bit tougher. Mom's health has been up and down, with her being close to death a couple of times in November. Following these episodes, both her hearing and eyesight became significantly worse.

She's been feeling much better since the turn of the year, but adjusting medication is a constant balancing act. Which is more important: kidneys or heart? I say without the heart, you don't have to worry about the kidneys. Mom says she would rather die from congestive heart failure than from kidney failure.

"Life is eternal; and love is immortal; and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limits of our sight." --Rossiter Worthington Raymond

I have learned to appreciate the good days.

Thoughts About Aging

I tend to think a lot about aging. Mom turned 90 in November. Although she is “healthy” considering her age, she has a lot of healthy problems and definitley a diminished quality of life.

Sometimes I think aging is similar to the teen-age years. It’s been said that if it weren’t for the teen-age years, we could never let our kids go. As teen-agers keep pushing their limits and being obnoxious, parents become willing–even anxious–to let their children fly free. And on the other side, teen-agers become more willing to get out on their own and take chances. At the end of life, as you have more and more physical problems and pains and less and less that you can enjoy, you become more willing to leave this life. In both cases, we become more willing to separate ourselves from our former lives.